Saturday, 17 March 2018

The A in GTA stood for Agallah

Agallah ft. Sean Price & Bazaar Royale - Rising To The Top
(From GTA III Game Radio FM station; 2001)

I've never even played played the 3rd Grand Theft Auto game and yet this fan-made video has still got ya host opin like them mans in the YouTube comments. On the 5 Star Millas scale, Rising To The Top rates as an 8-Off out of 5 song; Propane & Primo were nice, but Propane & Pricey were the best.

Bet Agallah was shitting twiglets with rage when he found out that Duck Down Records' HCACIC Dru-Ha removed his verse from Tel E Mundo and polished all the grit out the beat for the song's inclusion on Boot Camp Clik's Collect Dis Edition compilation. O.G version FTW 4 life:

Agallah ft. Ruck aka Sean Price - Tel E Mundo
(From Agallah's Da Mix Tape Iz The Album mixtape; 2001)

PS: Never forget that Sean P's babby boy could pronounce Agallah better than Jim Jones.

Thursday, 15 March 2018

IDGAF: The Next Level

"I don't give a fuck, diggin' in her motherfuckin' purse
Diggin' in her purse like she dead in a hearse
I don't give a fuck like Herschel
I don't give a fuck, we gonna tear down Marshalls"

Rich Blue - Hands Hands
(From YouTube; 2018)

Shout out to Chris Parker, we in this bitch! The missing link between Bass and Based or wot? To paraphrase an infamous mixtape ad-lib by DJ Kay Slay, ONLY DETROIT COULDA DONE THIS, YO!!!

"Read the bible, it say don't with Rich Blue, told you don't fuck with me too
Read the commandments, it said don't fuck with Rich Blue, I swear that's number 52!"

Tuesday, 13 March 2018

If we sacrifice Lee Mack to a volcano can we get Craig Mack back?

Damn, son! Bad Boy Records is lookin' like the Overlook Hotel of Rap right now - a cursed entity with the data to turn ya body into anti-matter, and anyone who was ever employed there is guaranteed eternal damnation in its ballroom of lost souls. Protect Black Rob at all costs.

R.I.P to the only rapper with a fly government name: a pioneering figure in Gettin' Retarded, and an arguable forefather of what's now known as 'Mumble-Rap'. Granted, both of Craig Mack's albums were glorified ashtrays, but from the MC EZ & Troup 12" in 1988 right up to his indie 12"s a decade or so later, Mack was #actually a Consistently Good Singles Artist™. Here's yer proof in the form of a generic list post:

MC EZ & Troup - Get Retarded (1988)
MC EZ & Troup - Just Rhymin' (1988)
Craig Mack - Flava In Ya Ear (1994)
Craig Mack ft. Notorious B.I.G, LL Cool J etc - Flava In Ya Ear (Remix) (1994)
Craig Mack - Making Moves With Puff (1994)
Craig Mack - Get Down (1994)
Craig Mack - Jockin' My Style (1997)
Craig Mack - Style (1997)
Craig Mack - Please Listen To My Demo (1999)
Craig Mack - The Wooden Horse (1999)
Craig Mack - Brand New N*gga (2000)
Craig Mack - Mack Come Thru (2000)

You won't be around next year, and, sadly, neither will he now. Drinks in the air for Craig Mack: the only man to get any decent use out of Das EFX post-1992.

Friday, 9 March 2018

"I been slappin' all my life, you been slappin' for a month"

"I'm ridin' round town, bitch, I gotta keep it trill
Wakin' bitches up with the speakers in the grill
Even if you deaf I bet a n*gga can feel
'Cause the rear view mirror shakin' like it got the chills"

Ghost8800 - Sonic Boom (video mix)
(From YouTube; 2012)

Ain't gon' lie, ya host had never heard this revamped mix of Ghost8800's MySpace staple Sonic Boom until what would have been his birfday today. Same Gas as the O.G version but with at least 50% more crispy pop in its trunk. Song's been slappin' since last decade, but I'd never blapped it like this until tonight.

Thursday, 8 March 2018

Everything's fine, but I'm in a 1997 state of mind

Worst than purgatory - yeah, word to me! One of my favourite N.Y indie-era 12"s this; Piece Of The Action flirts with Jigginess to the extent that even Funkmaster Flex played it, while Seeds Of Hate was best described within the pages of On The Go magazine:

Friday, 2 March 2018

Now I can talk MY shit

Unpopular opinion: Valee's much-heralded verse on Two 16's was impressive from a theatrical standpoint on the breath control tip, but not particularly enjoyable from a musical standpoint because it was a blatant act of attention-hogging on someone else's song and a waste of all the little melodic tricks Valee has up the sleeves of his Adidas tracksuits. Juice & Gin here is the song Two 16's would have been if Valee had complimented ZMoney's verse rather than just dropping a breezeblock of words on there with no regards for the rest of the track.

Valee - Juice & Gin
(From GOOD Job, You Found Me EP; 2018)

Really doe, ya host just hopes Seen Her Before doesn't end up being an outlier in Valee's catalogue because Makonnentosh Plus is a song-style which needs to blossom into a full-blown sound. Once more for doz that slept:

Valee - Seen Her Before
(From 1988 mixtape; 2017)

Wednesday, 28 February 2018

Generic list post: February 2018

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when man like MP45 found a secrete & rare 1988 in-store performance by Big Daddy Kane and Ice-T on the 'Tube. "Ice like T, hot like Hell" foreal.

Max B - Take A Flick (2013)
70th Street Carlos - Clappin' (2018)
5th Ward Weebie ft. Wild Wayne & Trombone Shorty - Drop It How Ya Feel It (2018)
Tay-K - After You (2018)
Kendrick Lamar & SOB X RBE - Paramedic (2018)
SOB X RBE - Carpoolin' (2018)

"Magic mirror on the wall, who are 2018's squarest rap fans of all?"

".. 'Tis thy mans who insist Paramedic is SOB X RBE's best song ever innit.. "

Tuesday, 27 February 2018

Ya Life's On The Line

The Famous Amos I Bet U Won't challenge continues to hit new heights, quite literally in the case of his latest video where he's truck-surfin' like Teen Wolf (and in the rain on some The Dramatics type shit, no less.) If you ain't putting your own safety at risk for cheap laughs then get the f*ck off Instagram in 2018, IMHO.

Remember when Jacka recorded the best Rap song about rain since Rae & Ghost?

Friday, 23 February 2018

Generic list post: 1998 was 20 years ago!

A sequel to the recent favourite rap songs of 1988 list, 35 indisputable choonz from the year when Belly and Buffalo '66 were released, Pol Pot was declared deceased, and the number of annoying Rap magazine scribes proclaiming Mos Def as "the saviour of Hip Hop!" significantly increased.

KMD - Popcorn
MF DOOM - The Mic
Redman ft. Busta Rhymes - Da Goodness
OutKast - Aquemini
Cool Breeze ft. Dungeon Family - Watch For The Hook
Noreaga - Superthug
Mac Dre - Life's A Bitch
AZ - The Pay Back
Big Pun - Dream Shatterer
Juvenile - Juvenile On Fire
Cam'Ron ft. Ma$e - Horse & Carriage
Sporty Thievz - Cheapskate (You Ain't Gettin' Nada)
Fat Pat - Tops Drop
Devin The Dude - Mo' Fa Me
Kool G. Rap - Mafioso
E-40 - Flashin'
D.I.T.C - Dignified Soldiers
Show & A.G. - Spit
Big L - Size 'Em Up
DJ Quik - We Still Party
Young Bleed ft. C-Loc & Maxminelli - Better Than The Last Time
Silkk The Shocker ft. Mystikal - It Ain't My Fault
Soulja Slim - From What I Was Told
Missin' Linx - M.I.A.
Godfather Don - Da Bomb Baby
Screwball - Cookies & Cream
Pastor Troy - No Mo' Play In G.A
C-Bo - 'Til My Casket Drops
Gang Starr - Work
M.O.P. - Handle Ur Bizness (DJ Premier Remix)
Pacewon - I Declare War
Eminem - My Name Is
The Coup - Me & Jesus the Pimp in a '79 Granada Last Night
Gangsta Boo ft. Three 6 Mafia - Where Dem Dollas At?
DMX - Crime Story

(Decided that I can't front My Name Is however much I'd like to. Contrary to popular opinion, it is a far better song than Role Model or Any Man or any of the other 1997 - 1999 Eminem tracks beloved of my fellow headz who don't even particularly like Eminem.)

Thursday, 22 February 2018


"Yo, I'm tryin' to be swollen, but right now I ain't holdin'
Hit the lah, told them everything I own is stolen
Picture that like Brando gave up half he saved up
Play the cut when dollar eye signs tricks is raised up
I'm the cheapest, and thats the only way I'm gonna keep this
Slice I wanna heat this, girls is trying to eat this
They think we should date, but still won't appreciate
Neither help with the rate, or you order a decent plate"

Sporty Thievz - Cheapskate (You Ain't Gettin' Nada)
(From Street Cinema album; 1998)

Like Ultimate Force's I'm Not Playing, this is another single from the official Martorialist canon that ya host never knew was blessed with a video until recently. If you've never made a playlist with Cheapskate next to Horse And Carriage then your Jiggy-era expert credentials are small like Einer Bankz' guitar.

File this one under ‘underrated Ski beatz’ innit.

Monday, 19 February 2018

Can you even ollie, bro?

"Oven by my side, that Big Bake shit
I dyed my hair blue - this the wave, I'm on that lake shit!"

70th Street Carlos - Clappin'
(From t'internet; 2018)

Beserker-Bouncin' at all the sucka-clucka Baton Rouge rappers too busy dickriding Atlanta to bring the ruckus, 70th Street Carlos & Trel Itz A Hit will be two brothas clappin' in your speakers but they ain't applaudin' you motherf**kers.

Kidz today and their immaculate skateparks, eh? Spare a thought for doz of us who had to navigate dilapidated concrete deathtraps like this back in the late 80s/early 90s:

Sunday, 18 February 2018

Broken Language

Trigger: "You put a bit of music on, Dave?"

Rodney: "Yes! Mozart's symphony number 38 in D major. I find it helps me unwind, you know - eases my executive stress."

Trigger: "... Ain't there no words to this, Dave?"

Rodney: "No, there's no words, Trigg, no - it's sort of.. instrumental."

Del Boy: "Raquel, i'm giving you two minutes or I'm going on me own." **Turns to Rodney and Trigger** "What's this?"

Trigger:: "It's Mozart's symphony number 38 in D major..."

Del Boy: **Speechless with shock**

Trigger: "'s the karaoke version."

^^^^ This is ya host if someone forces me to listen to a Jazz LP or any instrumental Hip Hop album. Wordless genres of music are only good if they're singles-based like House, and you can't tell me shit to the contrary.

Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? Why did Trigger always call Rodney ‘Dave’?

Friday, 16 February 2018


"N*gga wanna show his ass like a baboon
Now he's a hashtag, now he's a tattoo
Now his bitch's ass on my dick in the bathroom
Wanna be a class coon? You get ate like fast food
You won't walk, you gon' crawl away like a raccoon
Hands in the air like a statue, I will shoot you in a classroom
See through you like a glassroom, I have nothing to ask you"

Tay-K - After You
(From t'internet; 2018)

Hate to be one of those Ken Kaniff bloggas postin' songs by child gangbanger rappers with murder charges, but ya host finds it difficult to resist the dubious charms of this new Tay-K track in much the same way that I couldn't front on The Race. Shorty lemme tell you about my only vice, it's got to do with music by #problematic rappers and it ain't nothin' nice.

Wednesday, 14 February 2018

Bottle of Loffe please, luv

What's love?
Love is when you don't need no hair of the dog
Love is when your significant other is a pig or a frog
Love is when you convince her to listen to Loon
Guaranteed to have her babbied-up soon...

Sunday, 11 February 2018

Born To Audiomack: 2010's Golden Oldies playlist

11 legit jams from decades past which were officially unreleased until they finally saw the proper light of day during the past 8 years. Shout out to anyone who played a part in gettin' these songs out there so everyone can hear 'em.

Tracks & Deets:
Lord Finesse - Inconsiderate Females (1989/2012)
Spice 1 - Killa Days (1992/2014)
Camp Lo - Camp Lo (Bust Ya Down) (1995/2016)
G. Dep - Blak N*gga (1996/2016)
Mac Dre - Pawns In The Game (1997/2014)
Juvenile ft. Big Tymers - Cash Money Gorilla (1998/2017)
Sean Price - I Shot Tha (2005/2014)
Max B - Take A Flick (2007/2013)
The Jacka ft. Dru Down - For Real (2009/2015)
MF DOOM & Madlib - Avalanche (2009/2016)
T-Pain & Lil' Wayne - Listen To Me (2009/2017)

Friday, 9 February 2018

If we sacrifice that nonce Afrika Bambaataa to a volcano can we get Lovebug Starski back?

A very important rapper for ya host since seeing Lovebug Starski doing Amityville (The House on the Hill) on Top Of The Pops in 1986 was one of my "EUREKA!" moments with rap as a kid:

Legend has it Starski might have invented the term Hip Hop in 1978, but let's not hold that against him, eh? After all, how can you hate the rapper who let Larry Smith & Davy DMX go full on Trevor Horn Electro-pop:

Lovebug Starski - You've Gotta Believe
(From You've Gotta Believe single; 1983)

You've Gotta Believe's B-Side Starski Live At The Disco Fever wasn't half bad either; Larry Smith & Davy DMX abandoned their pop instincts entirely on that one and essentially used the beat as a dry run for the stark drum machine sound they'd perfect a few weeks later on Run D.M.C's Sucker MC's.

Rap always needs more artists who've given themselves exotic monikers, and less artists using their boring real names like ol' Plain Jane soundin' ass Keith Murray/Kevin Gates/J. Cole/Mick Jenkins etc. Real Name, No Gimmicks is only acceptable if you've got a fly one like Craig Mack.

Wednesday, 7 February 2018

Do Androids Dream Of Electro Street Sounds?

Dopplereffekt - Voice Activated
(From Infophysix EP; 1996)

Also taken from the same Dave Clarke X-Mix Electro Boogie video mix VHS tape as this clip for LFO's We Are Back. If Morgan Khan had kept releasing his Street Sounds Electro compilations into the '90s then Voice Activated defintely woulda been the Stomper Ne Plus Ultra™ of whatever volume it would have featured on.

No shotz @ Khan, but it's pretty unforgivable that he never put Jonzun Crew's Space Is The Place, Spoonie Gee's Street Girl or owt by Egyptian Lover on any of his Electro compilations. That's like Darlene without Ice, The Lost Boys without rice, or DMX without a pipe.

Friday, 2 February 2018

Louisiana trombones and tuba alert!

This one sounds hella promising: 5th Ward Weebie does a Diddy and records himself Louisiana's answer to Get Off? Swear down, I'm flying to New Orleans to dish out Chinese burns if Weebie makes like Ya Boy Big Choo and just teases this song endlessly on Instagram for a year without dropping it. This ain't a game, gawd!

... and just like that, it drops. Not the Get Off ya host imagined, more another Whatcha Workin It Fa innit. Fresh 4 the 2018 Magnolia Projects Mardi Gras parade, you suckaz:

5th Ward Weebie ft. Wild Wayne & Trombone Shorty - Drop It How Ya Feel It
(From Soundcloud; 2018)

Word around uptown, Wild Wayne is gonna call in Louis Theroux for the official Drop It How Ya Feel It remix. "My currency doesn't jiggle-jiggle, it's crypto/I start shit off like Ziggly Wiggly fo sho!"

Thursday, 1 February 2018

Reasons why I love YouTube part whatever

Ultimate Force - I'm Not Playing
(From Jazzy Jay's Cold Chillin' In The Studio Live compilation; 1989)

Who knew there was a video for Diamond D's first production AKA the de facto birth of the D.I.T.C crew, eh? One of the first Golden-Era joints to depart from the James Brown/Ultimate Breaks & Beats canon and go diggin' in them classique Blues crates instead. Highlight? Peep 1:13 for the Chuck Norris chest merkin.

Wednesday, 31 January 2018

Generic list post: January 2018

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when #TeamMartorialist found themselves on a dance floor with Ainsley Harriot. Fun fact: the king of supermarket couscous knows every word to California Love.

Mac Dre - Outrages (2002)
70th Street Carlos - I Bet U Won't (Remix) (2017)
Que Almighty ft. JMM Larry & 70th Street Carlos - Don't Start No Shit (2018)
Maine Musik - Soulja Slim Flow 2 (2018)
Payroll Giovanni & Cardo - In Me, Not On Me (2018)
Kwamz & Flava - Shooooo Freestyle (2018)

Other notables: lemme get a no Auto-Tune mix of Crash Out by OMB Peezy & the Sherwood lads because "that funny voice shit" erases everything which makes Peezy so distinct; sorry SOB X RBE, but Foxy Brown already recorded the definitive Cruel Summer flip back in 2003; listened to those two new Creek Boyz tracks and came to the conclusion that they're currently a One Song Wonder™ in the vein of Sicko Mobb, imho; Don't even need to hear the new Migos album to know that it's a 2018 equivalent of a late '90s Das EFX double disc; No idea who Odee is, but in the video for his Janky Individual song he's wearing a Puma tracksuit version of the Chopper Suit.