Thursday, 24 May 2018

Generic list post: Detroit Rap City

Ain't gon' lie, ya host is hardly a Detroit Rap maven - the only Eminem album I've ever heard in full is The Slim Shady LP, nor have I ever heard any joints by Slum Village, Trick-Trick, Phat Kat, Guilty Simpson, BandGang or Rocaiine that I've ever wanted to play twice. Ya host does, however, know that it's been warm in The D ever since Cybotron dropped Cosmic Cars in 1982, so here's a generic list post of my G.O.A.T Detroit jams.

Cybotron - Clear (1983)
Awesome Dre & The Hardcore Committee - Killer On Wax (1989)
MC Breed - Ain't No Future In Yo' Frontin' (1991)
Esham - No Singin' At My Funeral (1993)
Bo$$ - Deeper (1993)
Aux 88 - Electrotechno (1996)
Eminem - My Name Is (1998)
Royce Da 5'9 - I'm The King (1999)
D12 - Shit On You (2000)
Jay Dee - Fuck The Police (2001)
Obie Trice - Got Some Teeth (2003)
Frank-N-Dank - What Up (2006)
Black Milk ft. Royce Da 5'9 - Losing Out (2009)
Elzhi - Deep (2010)
Danny Brown - Lincoln Continental (2011)
Pablo Skywalkin - All Facts (2013)
Boldy James - Moochie (2013)
Big Sean - Paradise (O.G version) (2014)
Quelle Chris - Buddies (2017)
Doughboyz Cashout ft. B Ryan - This Is How We Move It (2017)
FMB DZ - Friday (2017)

This might be the first generic list post where I won't just politely sneer at any "OMG you need a song by ______" comments. Skool me on some Detroit choonz, lads!

Related: P.H.I.L.L.Y.

Tuesday, 22 May 2018


Dunno about youze lot, but here at The Martorialist we're absolutely flabbergasted that some shitty Tumblr rapper who used to chum it up with ex-SPIN writers involved in Das Rapist-gate and various failed aspiring A&Rs from The Wavery would turn out to be a serial-sex predator. Where art thou Kitty Pryde when t'internet requires you to call a Tumblr rapper's rape victims a bunch of attention-seeking liars again?

Actual factz, relax: in terms of #problematicness and rapey behaviour, Tumblr rappers beget Soundcloud rappers. If Das Racist were the Tumblr-rap(ist) XXXtentacion, then Yung Gleesh was the Tekashi69, and now Antwon is the No Jumper weed carrier Lil' Housephone.

Monday, 21 May 2018

Mr. Swerve-On

"She say I turn her up, she call me coffee
She said eat her cat, I said that's where you lost me
She said Ding Dong, I told her Cross Me
All these n*ggas hatin' on me, they need to get up off me"

70th Street Carlos - Wreck
(From t'internet; 2018)

Blown out the frame like Pan Am Flight 103 by the kid from 70th Street. Carlos aka Boosie FatAzz stays showin' up and showin' out in this weekly series of his that we'll call May Madness.

Friday, 18 May 2018

Julianne EscoBeedaWeeda Shepherd

Another reason why ya host ain't gonna never actually pay for any official streaming service: the only version of Beeda Weeda's Bass Rock Babies on there is the jankey 2014 re-recording. O.G leaked loosie version FTW 4 life.

"If you was born in the 80's you a bass rock baby
Your parents either sold drugs or did 'em on the daily
Bass rock hit, the 'hood went crazy
Shit got shady, the streets got mainey
Safety was a issue, a stray might hit you
We went from fist-fisting to killin' with pistols
Task pullin' kick door's, the turf goin' skitzo
You had a drop stain, my n*gga, you was official"

Beeda Weeda - Bass Rock Babies
(From t'internet; 2010)

Arguably the G.O.A.T DJ Fresh blap, definitely the best Beeda Weeda slap, unfortunately a lost DigitalDripped classic when it should have been as big as D-Lo's No Hoe.

Wednesday, 16 May 2018

Louisiana tubas alert!

"Shut up, why you lyin', all my bitches fine
I look like I'm blind, I been dumb since I was nine
Lemme hit up my barber I'm finna go and get a line
I sip too much lean, it's fuckin' with my kidney
Rule number one: you better not ever leave no witness
Put that tool in his mouth just like he at the dentist
My circle smaller than a period at the end of a sentence"

70th Street Carlos - Sprite
(From t'internet; 2018)

Back to the Trel again from Carlos after last week's ol' robotic futuristic George Jetson type shit. If 'los is dropping a new video every tuesday can we get either of these next week?

Disclaimer: here at The Martorialist we don't approve of rappers drinking lean, mind. Remember dem dayz when Sprite was summat vaguely innocent that rappers shilled for when homaging Double Trouble on the stoop in Wild Style?

Always thought Nas & AZ missed a trick by not casting Nature as the random lad who turns up all excited and snappin' his fingers.

Sunday, 13 May 2018

Johnny Rap presents The Martorialist 80's Rap 101 Zippyshares

Johnny Rap done zipped up my 80's Rap 101 generic list post into 3 separate RAR files so you no longer have any excuse to sleep on Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde's Doing The Do, Z-3 MC's Triple Threat, or Stezo's Girl Trouble.

Download 'em here: part 1, part 2, and part 3.

Thursday, 10 May 2018

Dirt Off Your Shoulders

Nas - Street Dreams
(From It Was Written album; 1996)

Word is bond, son, I had dem shitz down as grassy knolls like dis.

Tuesday, 8 May 2018

**Easy Mo Bee voice**

"Yo Carlos, I don't even understand how they didn't understand you on them Trel Itz A Hit joints.
Kick somethin' over some old robotic, futuristic George Jetson type shit..."

"Dirty cup, uhh, that's that medicine
Dirty pistol, but I'm fresher than a peppermint
I hear them n*ggas hatin', I got ears just like an Elephant
Look like I got wings 'cause I'm flyer than a Pelican"

70th Street Carlos - Bang Bang
(From t'internet; 2018)

Let it be known that Carlos AKA Chubb Glock treats them non-Trel productions right too. It's the joints: OG, One Day, the I Bet You Won't (Remix), and Bang Bang right chea.

Sunday, 6 May 2018

I'm part of the mafia, Czechoslovakia

"My girl is AZN, my gun is Russian
Shit stay wet because they both be bussin'"

Husalah - Bad Young Thang
(From H album; 2018)

The combination of RobLo production & Lev Berlak engineering stays soundin' like it was beamed down from another planet, huh? Like I said to Homeboy Bobby Sandsman AKA Donal, Bad Young Thang has gotta be the most effective The Power Of Mac Dre Compels Thee track since J-Diggs' What Would Dre Say. Even squares and stoolies gotta put their E.T fingers up for this one.

Weirdest thing about the Husalah album is that A-Wax didn't make a single Instagram post besmirching it. Has the 'Wax vs. Hus' beef finally gone to the crossroads?

Saturday, 5 May 2018

Re-Up Gong: best of G. Dep playlist

Sometimes you've gotta sell yaself like Hondas, so ya host is reposting this one for no particular reason other than Head Over Wheels always sounds butter on a warm saturday. Playlist's so hot it'll make you scream like you struck gold, that's cold.

Monday, 30 April 2018

Generic list post: April 2018

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when what the internet really needed was even more discourse about KanYe West.

Father Dom - Tell Your Baby Mama Leave Me Alone (1997)
Husalah - Humpin' (2018)
Level & Mouse On Tha Track ft. Boosie BadAzz - #DFWT (Remix) (2018)
Tamia - Leave It Smokin' (2018)
Mr. Fingers - Full Moon (2018)

Other notables: listened to 70th Street Carlos' Instagram teasers more than most new music this month; XL Middleton's We Gotta Go sorta did DJ Quik better than the real new DJ Quik song; that Prod By Bloc track is the first BlocBoy JB song which hasn't annoyed the fuck outta me; expected more from OMB Peezy over Mouse On Tha Track production; Maine Musik's Soulja Slim Flow 3 isn't a patch on the first two installments because OMB Peezy already recorded the definite From What I Was Told beatjack; didn't listen to Cardi B's album because I'm not a gay bloke or a Pitchfork writer; probably should listen to the E-40 & B-Legit album in case there's some of that late-career magic in the vein of 43 or Rear View Mirror on there, huh?

Sunday, 29 April 2018

Late pass!

"Playas don't change, the game get deeper
In a minute they gon' come out with the invisible beeper
Or one you can wear in your ear that only playa's hear
Get a beep then you outta there
On the highway straight speedin'
Tryna get away so ya gurl won't catch you cheatin'"

Father Dom - Tell Your Baby Mama Leave Me Alone (video mix)
(O.G mix from Oaktown's Finest album; 1997)

Only familiar with Father Dom from his appearances on Too $hort tracks and his Rumors remake until I checked out the latest Hotbox compilation. Turns out that he's the best Dom since Passantino because the father's got more slaps than Janine Butcher's Eastenders career.

Wednesday, 25 April 2018

Styles By The 'Gram Part 2

A post shared by Rich Porter (@imrichporter) on

File this teaser alongside this teaser under ‘70th Street Carlos Instagram snippets which just need to drop already!’ It's Da Drought forreal out here for new Rap right now, and here at The Martorialist we're tryna be in that water like Robert Maxwell.

*EDIT* FFS and another one which which needs to drop ASAP:

A post shared by Rich Porter (@imrichporter) on

Monday, 23 April 2018

Roberto Di Matteo's Waiting Part 2

Another timeout from Rap shit with 80's pop sensations, because I do have the patience to deal with these Cockney & Irish-born caucasians. This time it's the first two times that Bananarama touched down to cause Heaven on Dick Clark's American Bandstand.

Highlight: probably the worst outfits of their career, but definitely the only time the Yank mix of Really Saying Something has ever sounded as good as the proper version.

Highlight: arguably the coolest outfits of their career, but the Yanks didn't really take to Cruel Summer until it was featured in the Karate Kid. After that, even Mike Tyson was all up on their collective clit:

Of course true headz already knew that Cruel Summer was big in Brooklyn.

Friday, 20 April 2018

Generic list post: 10 for '18

In no specific order, 10 Legit Jams™ from the first quarter of 2018. Slim pickings out there right now for ya host, but there's still a smattering of fly shit for doz of us who view Lil' Pump and Westside Gunn as different shades of the same shite.

Tay-K - After You (2018)
70th Street Carlos - Clappin' (2018)
Maine Musik - Soulja Slim Flow 2 (2018)
Husalah - Humpin' (2018)
Mozzy - Who I Am (2018)
Kendrick Lamar & SOB X RBE - Paramedic (2018)
SOB X RBE - Carpoolin' (2018)
Rich Blue - Hands Hands (2018)
Roc Marciano - 67 Lobby (2018)
Valee - Juice & Gin (2018)

Bonus beats: the present and the future walked into a bar - it was tense! You know I also stay posted up in the past like Toys R Us, so here's my top 3 new-to-me discovery songs of 2018 thus far.

Mac Dre - Outrages (2002)
Agallah ft. Sean Price - Zepplin Fuel (2009)
Ghost8800 - Sonic Boom (video mix) (2012)

Wednesday, 18 April 2018

Reasons why I love YouTube part whatever

Because the Brand Nubian episode of Unsung that Tha Barber just told me about is already on there in full:

Good to see that Lord Jamar has taken time out from shilling for DJ Vlad's financial advice YouTube series to take part in this.

Tuesday, 17 April 2018

Tinder Bell

"See, that chat is not so snappy, and Cupid's not ok
I'm glad that we connected in the most old-fashioned way
I'm not against Computer Love, but, gurl, it's you I love
So baby you can understand it when I say..
There's nothin' we can do here that we can't do at home
So gurl take my hand..
'Cause we gotta go, we gotta goooooo, we gotta goooooo"

XL Middleton - We Gotta Go
(From the MoFunk Records Bandcamp; 2018)

Via an AZN DJ Quik/Dâm-Funk hybrid, here's a digital G-Funk chirpsing anthem for blokes who are too analogue to find a bird on Plenty Of Fish. If there's one things Rap needs in 2018, it's AZN G-Funk producer/rappers who look like Fieldy from KoЯn.

Thursday, 12 April 2018

Late pass!

"Blunt in my hand, iPhone in my other
Spit it just like my pops, look just like my mother"

Stunna Gang - Brand Nubian
(From YouTube; 2017)

Who knew Grand Puba has a rapping sprog? Little fella's ode to Makonnen leaves a lot to be desired, but the apple doesn't fall far from his father's tree when Maxwell Junior nostaljacks Brand Nubian deep cuts.

Monday, 9 April 2018

Generic list post: 80's Rap 101

Sod stereophonic sound, this is a journey into constantly-evolving sound. The best Rap songs of the 80s as according to ya host Love Bug Tarkovski: a funky 100 + 1 of songs that shine like dookie ropes not songs that stink like dookie.

Spoonie Gee - Love Rap (1980)
Treacherous Three & Spoonie Gee - New Rap Language (1980)
Kurtis Blow - Hard Times (1980)
Blondie - Rapture (1980)
Grand Wizard Theodore & The Fantastic 5 - Can I Get A Soul Clapp (1981)
Grandmaster Flash - The Adventures Of Grandmaster Flash.. (1981)
Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde - Doing The Do (1982)
Super 3 - When You're Standing On The Top (1982)
The Fearless Four - Rockin' It (1982)
Duke Bootee & Melle Mel - The Message (1982)
Afrika Noncebaataa & The Soulsonic Force - Planet Rock (1982)
Planet Patrol - Play At Your Own Risk (1982)
Trouble Funk - Pump Me Up (1982)
Busy Bee - Making Cash Money (1982)
Hashim - Al-Naafiysh (The Soul) (1983)
Jimmy Spicer - Money (Dollar Bill Y'all) (1983)
Chris Stein ft. Grand Wizard Theodore - Gangbusters (1983)
Davy DMX - One For The Treble (1983)
West Street Mob - Break Dance -- Electric Boogie (1983)
Jonzun Crew - Space Is The Place (1983)
Disco Four - Throwdown (1983)
Rammellzee vs. K-Rob - Beat Bop (1983)
Love Bug Starski - You've Gotta Believe (1983)
Run D.M.C - Sucker MC's (1983)
Cybotron - Clear (1983)
Fat Boys - Jail House Rap (1984)
Newcleus - Jam On It (1984)
The Furious Five - Step Off (1984)
Herbie Hancock ft. Grand Mixer D.ST - Rockit (1984)
Whodini - Featuring Grandmaster Dee (1984)
World's Famous Supreme Team - Hey D.J (1984)
Crash Crew - We Are Known As Emcees (1984)
Cold Crush Brothers - Fresh, Fly, Wild, And Bold (1984)
Egyptian Lover - I Cry (Night After Night) (1984)
T La Rock & Jazzy Jay - It's Yours (1984)
DJ Red Alert - Hip Hop On Wax Volume 2 (1984)
Marley Marl ft. MC Shan - Marley Marl Scatch (1985)
Doug E. Fresh & MC Ricky D - La Di Da Di (1985)
Stetsasonic - Just Say Stet (1985)
Z-3 MC's - Triple Threat (1985)
Steady B - Just Call Us Def (1985)
Whistle - (Nothing Serious) Just Buggin' (1985)
Schoolly D - Saturday Night (1986)
Just Ice - Cold Gettin' Dumb (1986)
Super Kids - The Tragedy (Don't Do It) (1986)
Roxanne Shanté ft. Biz Markie - The Def Fresh Crew (1986)
Word Of Mouth ft. DJ Cheese - Coast To Coast (1986)
2 Live Crew - We Want Some Pussy (1986)
Salt-N-Pepa - Push It (1986)
Skinny Boys - Rip The Cut (1986)
The Showboys - Drag Rap (1986)
Audio Two - Top Billin' (1987)
Cool C - Juice Crew Dis (1987)
Super Lover Cee & Casanova Rud - Do The James (1987)
Latee - This Cut's Got Flavor (1987)
Heavy D & The Boyz - The Overweight Lover's In The House (1987)
The Classical Two - New Generation (1987)
J.J. Fad - Supersonic (1987)
Eric B. & Rakim - Lyrics Of Fury (1988)
Slick Rick - The Moment I Feared (1988)
Ultramagnetic MC's - Kool Keith Housing Things (1988)
Ice-T - Drama (1988)
M.C La Kim aka Lakim Shabazz - We Got The Funk (1988)
EPMD - You Gots To Chill (1988)
DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Brand New Funk (1988)
N.W.A - Straight Outta Compton (1988)
Eazy-E - Eazy-er Said Than Dunn (1988)
LL Cool J - Jack The Ripper (1988)
Public Enemy - Black Steel In The Hour Of Chaos (1988)
Kool G Rap & DJ Polo - Poison (1988)
The Juice Crew - The Symphony (1988)
Big Daddy Kane - Set It Off (1988)
Biz Markie - Vapors (LP version) (1988)
MC Shan - So Def (1988)
Too $hort - City Of Dope (1988)
Jungle Brothers - Because I Got It Like That (1988)
Mantronix - King Of The Beats (1988)
J.V.C Force - Strong Island (1988)
MC Lyte - Paper Thin (1988)
Positive K ft. King Of Chill - Step Up Front (3 Heineken Technique) (1988)
Three Times Dope - Funky Dividends (1988)
Sir Mix-A-Lot - Posse On Broadway (1988)
Nice & Smooth - Early To Rise (1989)
Grandmaster Melle Mel - Free Style (1989)
The 45 King - The 900 Number (1989)
Stezo - Girl Trouble (1989)
Special Ed - I Got It Made (1989)
Uptown - Dope On Plastic (1989)
Freddie Foxxx - The Master (1989)
De La Soul ft. Native Tongues - Buddy (1989)
Tuff Crew - Behold The Detonator (1989)
Beastie Boys - What Comes Around (1989)
Ultimate Force - I'm Not Playing (1989)
Mac Dre - Young Black Brotha (1989)
3rd Bass - Monte Hall (1989)
Brand Nubian - Brand Nubian (1989)
YZ - In Control Of Things (1989)
Geto Boys - Gangster Of Love (1989)
Gang Starr - Words I Manifest (Remix) (1989)
The D.O.C - Portrait Of A Masterpiece (1989)
Tone Loc - Wild Thing (1989)

Thursday, 5 April 2018

Styles By The 'Gram

A post shared by 7$C (@70thstreetcarlos) on

Because this site wouldn't be The Martorialist without ya host complaining that some song which exists currently as an Instagram snippet is taking forever to drop. Fuck patience, I'm retarded I act just like a patient.

Bonus beats:

Level & Mouse On Tha Track ft. Boosie Badazz - #DFWT (Remix)
(From t'internet; 2018)

Just found out a Boosie remix of Level & Mouse On Tha Track's #DFWT dropped yesterday. O.G version got left in the dust by I Bet U Won't last year, so this new mix might give #DFWT some fresh legs for '018.

Related: apparently 5th Ward Weebie is featured somewhere on that new single by Audrey according to Weebie's Instagram. Dunno where exactly because I'd have to willingly listen to a full Drake song to work it out and that ain't happening anytime soon.

Monday, 2 April 2018

Don't Get Caught

"I pray everyday for all the soldiers and real life G's IN JAIL
All these little kids, man, that ain't where you wanna be
All the real G's wanna be free, don't no real G wanna be IN JAIL
Uh huh... it's Mysonne!

There's no smilin' on Riker's Island
Them young boys is wildin'
They'll cut you dialin' on the phone, they respect the violent
The realest dudes move in silence
There's no talk, if you don't walk like a G they'll test you
If you a rat they'll stretch you
N*ggas'll let you think it's sweet, while you liftin' them weights up
Some lil' n*gga rippin' your face up
It's karma, you hear the toughest n*gga cry for momma
When that life's given by Your Honour
That means you gonna die in a little ass cell
They got n*ggas doin' life for a little ass sale
In the mountains you'll be countin' Soul Trains & Super Bowls every year 'til you come home
Move alone, choose comrades wisely
Rule number one: don't speak what your eyes see
You got chumps tryna turn n*ggas out
Punks tryna burn n*ggas out
Sneak theives watchin', they tryna learn a n*gga's route
So when you leave they can clear a n*gga out
Then you got the C.O's who always wanna try you
'Cause they was nerds and punks back in high school
It's survival of the fittest in this bitch
The dude you call friend could be a snitch or a paedophile
Gotta check his file, gotta see his paperwork
Find out now 'cause later it's gonna make it worse
Some n*ggas leave and go right back
Do 15, come home, then go right back
Then they call home and nobody pick up the jack
And wonder why when they write that n*ggas don't write back
It's wack, straight up, bottom line
Any cat that glorify that is out his mind
I'm outta time, but I'm finally free, man
The worst place that you can be, man, is IN JAIL"

Mysonne - In Jail
(From YouTube; 2011)

Currently confined to my bed with a stinking cold, so ya host has kept busy by transcribing the lyrics to Mysonne's Jail House Rap nostaljack AKA the one moment of shinola in the otherwise shitty catalogue of a Ruff Ryders C lister-turnt-DJ Vlad's token black friend. Fellow perennial jailbird Black Rob had the vivider raps about doing porridge, but Mysonne Stanley Fletcher made a more compelling argument about why it's grim up north.

Jail House Rap - top 5 Larry Smith & Davy DMX production or wot?

Friday, 30 March 2018

Generic list post: March 2018

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Soundcloud-rap's Captain Save-A-Paedo army formed like Voltron.

Ghost8800 - Sonic Boom (video mix) (2012)
Mozzy - Who I Am (2018)
Roc Marciano - 67 Lobby (2018)
Rich Blue - Hands Hands (2018)
The J.B.'s - Crossover (1977)
Diana Ross ft. Michael Mars Bar - Upside Down (Live) (1981)

Other notables: initially dismissed OMB Peezy's Ride as corny Po Pimp nostalgia, but that shit is a grower if you can get your noggin' around the notion of Peezy doing a Rap & Bullshit radio jam; Juice & Gin is what Two 16's might have sounded like if Valee had complimented ZMoney's verse rather than just dropping a breezeblock of words on there with no regards for the rest of the track; those two singles by Quelle Chris & Jean Grae are more like soundtracks to alt-comedy videos than songs; YG and Queen Key both let ya host down with their respective new singles.