Thursday, 23 March 2017

Slangin' humble pie and St. Ides in the same sentence

"Now I'm just a gangsta
Pimpin' connected n*gga, my stripes'll outrank ya
Aye, me and my 501's, lookin' for an endorsement
In 'em I'll make a fortune
All I ask is Levi to make ya pockets deeper
So my stacks of paper can fit in them and re-up"

Dru Down - My 501's
(From My 501's single; 2017)

It was inevitable My 501's would worm its way into Team Martorialist's affections eventually because this song has hidden charms for those of us who were in the mood for some new late-career Dru Down after Street Knowledge recently paid homage. Sometimes you've just gotta let a slap be a slap, so the trick with this joint is to forget the video where Dru's dressed like he's auditioning to join Jeremy Clarkson's Amazon show and remember how well he wore his 501's back in t'day. Et voilà, you have D Squared's code to menswear masquerading as an ode to Levi's: where sagging should stay above arse-level, and Hoet Laureates & regular blokes alike should aspire to look like outlaws at the O.K Corral rather than ponces on the Paris catwalk.

Wednesday, 22 March 2017

Make Bounce Great Again!

Team Toon ft. Ya Boy Big Choo - My Hot Girl
(From t'internet; 2016)

More 2016 Bounce & Bullshit in the vein of Club Luv. Late pass discovery on ya host's part, but timing is everything because the song's currently very useful as a stop-gap until Big Choo drops his remake of Dolamite's Hustlas.

BTW, uploaded the Dolamite song to Audiomack a few week back then forgot to post it here. Only Sade could provide the spine of a New Orleans club classic that's the missing link between Lil' Slim and Bone Thugz-N-Harmony. If this shit rings any biddells it's probably because Lil B also jacked it back in 2010.

Dolamite - Hustlas
(From 3rd Ward On My Mind EP; 1995)

Sunday, 19 March 2017

He got a hit full of corny words, yet he still can't afford these furs (slight return)

Dome blown within the comforts of your own home that there was once a rap magazine which put A-Wax & Smigg Dirtee on its front cover. An act that's all the more mind-blowing when you do the math and realise that the picture is taken from an internet video which was hosted on the Siccness website.

Turns out it wasn't even the first time A-Wax had appeared on the magazine's cover because there was this proto-XXL Freshmen issue which featured 'Wax, Smigg Dirtee, Mistah F.A.B, Turf Talk and a couple of other fellas on the front:

The closest thing South West Bound magazine has to an online archive is this. Dead @ the very notion of a magazine with Laroo as its cover star.

Wednesday, 15 March 2017

Generic list post: great rap songs which don't even feature any rapping

Sometimes in rap the gobby fella upfront steps aside to let the rhythm/the DJ/the guest vocalist/the vocal samples/the bloke with a vocoder pretending to be a robot do they own thing. Word around town, God made us suffer Eric B's scratch-tracks on Paid In Full and Andre 3000's singing on The Love Below as cosmic balance for these 25 masterpieces:

The 45 King - The 900 Number (1988)
Hashim - Al-Naafiysh (The Soul) (1983)
Whodini - Featuring Grandmaster Dee (1984)
Main Source - Scratch & Kut (1991)
The Jonzun Crew - Space Is The Place (1983)
MF DOOM - Hands Of DOOM (1999)
Tuff Crew - Behold The Detonator (1989)
Herbie Hancock w/ Grandmixer DS.T - Rockit (1984)
Lil' Wayne - Big Tigger Live On The Radio (2002)
Mantronix - King Of The Beats (1988)
Crooklyn Clan - Tha Franklinz (1997)
Dr. Octagon - Bear Witness (1996)
Davy DMX - One For The Treble (1984)
The Beatnuts - World Famous Intro (1997)
Jungle Brothers - J Beez Comin' Thru (Bonus Beats) (1989)
Chris Stein w/ Grand Wizard Theodore - Gangbusters (1983)
Public Enemy - Show 'Em Whatcha Got (1988)
DJ Quik ft. Robert Bacon - Reprise (Medley For A "V") (1998)
Cypress Hill - Something For The Blunted (1991)
Ezale & DJ Fresh - Interlude Of The Funk (2016)
De La Soul ft. They Mans - Rap De Rap Show (1991)
Egyptian Lover - Baddest (Bonus Beats) (1988)
DJ Red Alert - Hip Hop On Wax Volume 2 (1984)
Trel Itz A Hit - South Lousiana Swag (2015)
DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - A Touch Of Jazz (1987)

Honourable mention goes to Puff's Get Off. Shit doesn't quite match this post's criteria, but it also doesn't contain any rapping.

Tuesday, 14 March 2017

There's only a few bloggas in the town we really have to sweat about

The art of blending NorCal mob music with New York thug-rap is usually attributed to the Mob Figaz, but four years before C-Bo introduced Jacka, Husalah et al to the world in 1998 there was this song from the Luniz' pre-Rap-A-Lot independent EP where Yukmouth & Numskull formed like Voltron with Dru Down went in over a combination of Southside Movement's I' Been Watching You, a Raekwon vocal sample, and some choice mob music synthesizer squiggles:

Luniz ft. Dru Down - Doin' Dirt
(From the Formally Known As The LuniTunes EP; 1994)

You could argue it was an aesthetic accident à la Dre Dog's Smoke Dope and Rap or Brotha Lynch Hung's 24 Deep if the Luniz & Dru Down hadn't teamed up again for The Mobb over every Queenbridge thug's favourite Isaac Hayes break two years later in 1996. All of which probably explains why Yukmouth recently dropped a Nas remake and Dru Down was Jacka's go-to guest veteran.

Monday, 13 March 2017

Enola Bay

"Headfirst in the streets so you know there ain't no stoppin'
Gettin' money like a printer, lame n*ggas wanna copy"

OMB Peezy - Loyalty Over Love (Intro)
(From YouTube; 2017)

Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Bay via Sick Wid It's first Alabama transplant signee. This is the first OMB Peezy song which sounds like it could feature Alabama's Duke of Datazz, and it'll work very nicely as the intro to whatever Peezy's Sick Wid It debut turns out to be. Ideally it'll be an EP in the vein of Nef The Pharaoh's own Sick Wid It debut because Rap needs less mixtapes and more Mailmans.

On the Keith Welch YouTube channel tip, Peezy needs to procure FBG's Blood Brothers for himself because that song's beat + chorus are wasted on such a forgettable group. Everybody eats, B, but some rappers are only worthy of a trip to the Harvester buffet innit?

Sunday, 12 March 2017

Reasons why I love YouTube # 75

Either Tinashe is a big Stone Cold Steve Austin fan or her much-delayed sophomore album is finally dropping this coming thursday. It's a real Gift & Curse humdinger for ya host, because along with the possibility of new Legit Jams™ comes the tragic realisation that she'll probably never shoot a video for Touch Pass where she reprises the gymnastics from 0:27 to 0:31 of this live clip:

Here comes another shameless plug for my best non-rap songs of 2016 Audiomack playlist which featured Touch Pass.

Wednesday, 8 March 2017

See these ice cubes? See these Ice Cream Mans?

Iconic moment from Dru Down's Pimp Of The Year video. Don't even front like all of Dru's 4 get-ups in that promo aren't legitimate 5/5 rap video outfits.

Monday, 6 March 2017

Kenickie Kaniff

Ayo & Teo - Lit Right Now
(From teh internet; 2017)

On one hand, I feel like that nonce from Eminem's albums postin' a track by them kids who made the Rolex song. On the other hand, this is the catchiest shit since Caroline or Cash Machine, and it sounds like a Speaker Knockerz remake of Summer Nights from Grease. Tell me more, tell me more - it's like Swag-Rap will never die. Tell me more, tell me more - I didn't go to Rydell High, I went to Rydell high.

Sunday, 5 March 2017

Late '00s 'til Infinity

DJ Jazzy Jeff ft. Peedi Crakk - Brand New Funk 2k7
(From DJ Jazzy Jeff's Return Of The Magnificent album; 2007)

Peedi Crakk's remake of Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince's Brand New Funk was the best solo song he ever made and you can't tell me nuffink to the contrary.

Down for a wave of obscure late '00s rap nostalgia right now. I wanna see XXL articles on the making of DB Tha General's Welcome To The Navy album, blog posts debating whether Big Tuck's Pussy And Patron #actually bangs harder than Not A Stain On Me, Complex listicles about the best rap songs to debut on Imeem (Mic Terror's Get Off FTW), and someone other than me celebrating Maino bangers and Juney Boomdata deep cuts which shoulda been singles.

Saturday, 4 March 2017

Breaking news: WNC officially #TeamKevinGates

"And I'll still f*ck even if we was cousins"

WNC Whop Bezzy & 70th Street Carlos - Retarded N Dumb
(From t'internet; 2017)

Quite into the idea that WNC's songs with Trel Itz A Hit on the track are Louisiana's modern equivalent of Just-Ice's first LP with Mantronix on the beat in 1986: the tone is retro-futurism, the production is stark and savage, retardation & dumbness are lifestyle choices rather than birth defects, and the artwork looks like it's straight outta Skeme's blackbook in Style Wars. Even their respective goldfronts look like some cheap rhodium grillz off eBay that'll cause Gingivitis within 3 hours.

Don't believe me then peep my playlist of 70th Street Carlos songs produced by Trel Itz A Hit, essentially the closest 2016 rap came to Just-Ice's Back To The Old School album. True story like OMB Peezy.

Thursday, 2 March 2017

Martorial elegance: O.G Bobby Robson edition

He ducks from Ralo, but he trusts in Rafa... it's Rich Homie Quan:

A lesson to be learned for all Atlanta rappers who stop makin' good songs and get their career stolen by (former enemy) YFN Lucci - f*ck around and end up wearin' a Newcastle United replica shirt in a British R&B sanger's video. Quan might not know the words of Biggie verses, but he's every Geordie's favourite ATLien doon Bigg Market on a saturday night, like.

Make the trap say "Wye Aye, pet!" Shit's hard out here for a Geordie today because it's exactly 15 years to the night since Bergkamp scored that goal against Newcastle.

Wednesday, 1 March 2017

Your arms too short to Talkbox with Zapp & Rog'

Coulda swore I've previously posted about Glory's Let's Get Nice, but blogspot's search function tells me it was all a dream, I used to read Empire magazine. Before Arthur Baker and Maurice Starr & Michael Jonzun signed to Tommy Boy Records and became Electro pioneers, the 3 of them were in a little-known Disco group by the name of Glory who recorded one of my vocoder-funk tunes of all time. This is the music that the alien mothership in Close Encounters Of The Third Kind shoulda used to communicate with Earth:

Glory - Let's Get Nice (7" mix)
(From Let's Get Nice 7" single; 1981)

The shortened 7" mix of Let's Gets Nice pops in places that the regular 12" mix merely bubbles, thus the former is the definitive version. One truncation under a groove, gettin' edited down just for the funk of it.

Monday, 27 February 2017

Generic list post: February 2017

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Milo got Ernest Bakered outta position. Also the month when us those of us who aren't Nas fanboys were reminded just how bad the Ether beat is.

OutKast ft. Killer Mike & Slimm Calhoun - Funkanella (2000)
Fat Tone ft. Boi Big - Walking In The Rain (2003)
Fat Tone - Not Guilty (2003)
OMB Peezy - Interracial Relations (2017)
OMB Peezy - When I Was Down (2017)
Donae'O ft. JME & Dizzee Rascal - Black (2016)
Donae'O - Black/Bounce (Social Circles Remix) (2017)
Mr. Eazi ft. Wizkid, Eddie Kadi & Maleek Berry - Leg Over (2017)

Other notables: Big Choo's upcoming remake of Dolamite's O.G Bounce Thugs-N-Harmony classic potentially sounds like New Orleans' equivalent of Be Faithful; it's not that I dislike the new Roc Marciano album, it just doesn't contain a killer song like Ridin' Around or We Ill; there was a glut of new Maine Musik & T.E.C music this month but none of it sounded Louisiana enough for my liking; Kap G is now 0 for 2 as far as 2017 songs go because No New Friends sounds like the 19th song on a 20 track Migos mixtape; it's heartwarming that finding Jesus has helped Mr.2-17 deal with Bankroll Fresh's death, but his new full length suggests he's now incapable of making a simple club banger without tryna save someone's soul on it; Nef The Pharaoh's Jacka tribute with Rydah J. Clyde is decent for what it is, but all I want right now is Nef's upcoming song with Mannie Fresh.

Friday, 24 February 2017

Funkanella >>>>> Funcrusher Plus

Late pass! Ain't gon' front like my knowledge of Dungeon Family unreleased/rare joints isn't fairly basic. I'd never heard the shelved ATLiens-era track Roaches And Rats which surfaced in 2006 until last year, and I was utterly unaware of this pre-Stankonia bangeur until yesterday:

"From East Point to New York, it's OutKast and Clue y'all
Howdy doo, y'all... Howdy doo, y'all!"

OutKast ft. Killer Mike & Slimm Calhoun - Funkanella
(From DJ Clue's Backstage: A Hard Knock Life compilation; 2000)

Hard to believe the third rapper on this now exclusively makes unlistenable music with the "pudgy, fish-faced ginger" snitch from Company Flow. What happened to the Earth(tone III)?

Tuesday, 21 February 2017

It's ya boy (literally)

If Ya Boy Big Choo is New Orleans' equivalent of Fatman Scoop circa the Crooklyn Clan's AV8 Records singles, then this upcoming remake of Dolamite's O.G Bounce & Bullshit classic teased on Instagram has the potential to be his Be Faithful. Only difference is, Scoop had to be played by a cartoon bobblehead in the Be Faithful video because he was a fat bastard who dances like your dad, while Choo is the same size as pre-diet Fat Joe but moves like a combination of Ronaldinho and Mr. Hit Dat Hoe:

Top 3 most anticipated songs right now: this Big Choo shit, the Nef The Pharaoh & Mannie Fresh slap, and the first track in this OMB Peezy vlog.

Monday, 20 February 2017

Ya blogga chose me

"Come f*ck with Blood, you'll see some shit you never seen befo'
Bitch, you hella bad, I think I seen you in my dreams befo'"

Lil' Blood & 12 Gauge Shotie - Mack
(From Chicken Talk album; 2016/YouTube; 2017)

Some ramshackle mob shit for a monday. If ya host had to choose like that lass in The Mack, I'd plump for this track over anything from Lil' Blood's new album with DJ Fresh. Song's retarded, but in the best possible taste, dahhlink!

Thursday, 16 February 2017

Generic list post: 5 fives (Last Dayz)

Already tackled the subject of opening songs on rap albums, so in the interest of #balance, here's a different kind of generic list post about closing songs on rap albums.

Dedicatin' this post to the now-defunct Ego Trip website, a place which knew a thing or two about rap lists. Thank you for reposting my AZ and Grand Puba playlists, fuck you for reposting Wicked22's crappy mixes.

5 killer final songs on rap albums:
Slick Rick - Lick The Balls (1988)
Raekwon & Ghostface Killah - Heaven & Hell (1995)
Snoop Doggy Dogg ft. Lil' Malik - Pump Pump (1993)
The Jacka - Barney (More Crime) (2005)
Eric B. & Rakim - Kick Along (1992)

Woulda been killer final songs if not for an outro or bonus remix:
Camp Lo - Coolie High (1997)
Ice-T - Soul On Ice (1988)
Juvenile - Money On The Couch (1997)
MF DOOM ft. Kurious - ? (1999)
Z-Ro - Happy Feelingz (2004)

Shout out to these 5 bonus tracks, though, innit:
UGK - Wood Wheel (2001)
Black Sheep - The Choice Is Yours (Revisited) (1991)
Dr. Dre ft. Death Row - Bitches Ain't Shit (1992)
Sean "Diddy" Combs - Get Off (2006)
YG ft. Pushaz Ink - When I Was Gone (2014)

5 tracks which shoulda been killer final songs on rap albums:
AZ - Doe Or Die (1995)
Egyptian Lover - I Cry (Night After Night) (1984)
Lil' Boosie - Trouble Man (2005)
2Pac - Death Around The Corner (1995)
Mac Dre - So Hard (2001)

5 shitty final songs on killer rap albums:
N.W.A - Something 2 Dance 2 (1988)
De La Soul ft. Biz Markie - Stone Age (1993)
GZA ft. Killah Priest - B.I.B.L.E (1995)
Public Enemy - Party For Your Right To Fight (1988)
Cypress Hill - Born To Get Busy (1991)

I generally choose not to acknowledge the existence of North Star (Jewels) since I never heard it until the early noughties due to not owning a CD copy of Only Built 4 Cuban Linx until then. There's a reason why people sweat The Purple Tape, but nobody gives a shit about The Red CD: the former ends on peak-rap music with Heaven And Hell, the latter ends on a superfluous-arse throwaway.

Wednesday, 15 February 2017

Will the defendant please rise

Court is now in session (no Chill Rob G.)

Conclusive proof that We Want Some Pussy is the best song on Ezale's Tonite Show:

Stop Come On and Day Ones both bodied via vehicular homicide.

I rest my case, y'honour.

Tuesday, 14 February 2017

File this under ‘one for the Brits’ (again)

Ever since a gang of scallies kicked Sophie Lancaster south of Heaven in 2007, there's been a war goin' on pon road no goff is safe from. Thankfully the mandem have been working tirelessly to repair the damage wrought by their working class white counterparts in recent years: man'll now spend their days in the colour of mourning, living Bauhaus every weekend. Even the Party Hard bloke has shown that he's down for the Count like Dracula's people and remixed his 2003 UK Garage classic My Philosophy (Bounce) with a Transylvanian twist by combining it with his 2016 single Black. There are songs for doz that slept, and then there are songs for doz that slept in a coffin:

Donae'O - Black/Bounce (Social Circles Remix)
(From t'internet; 2017)

Speakin' of Donae'O, was Farmer Yardie the UK Garage equivalent of T La Rock's Live Drummin' With The Country Boy?